Hopefully by now, you are starting to learn a little about me. I am conscientiously trying to improve myself whether it is through reading, working out, or identifying some of my “flaws” and addressing them head on (as can be seen in my posts about relinquishing control or not being so argumentative. My life these days is a constant battle of managing my daily duties of being a husband, a father, a homeowner, a working man and a student, while also trying to better myself (and keep my sanity).
My little “Self Improvement” series has been pretty good for me thus far as I feel I am much more cognizant of some of my issues, and by sharing them, I keep it at the front of my head that it is something I must work on. This week, I am focusing on something I have been dealing with for a long time, and where it has been better lately, I feel it still has a long way to go. This post, is in regards to my anger.
Now, I am not the most angry person you have ever met. Hell, most would never even use that as a word to describe me. For me, it may not be so much about anger, as it is about having a short fuse and getting frustrated too easily. In my past posts I have discussed issues with giving up control of situations as well as always having to be right. And the funny thing is, not only were a lot of qualities overlapping between those two, but this topic overlaps with them as well. Far too often I feel myself getting angry over such little things that make no difference in my day to day life. Perhaps it has to do with a situation I do not have control over. Or perhaps it has to do with me having to have my way… but whatever it is, far too often I feel myself getting more agitated over time and end up yelling. Sometimes at my wife, other times at my kids. What I know for sure, is I have to be better.
What I have notices is that as life gets busier and I get more stressed, I lose my anger much more frequently (don’t we all?). Last year I noticed this was really getting out of hand and until other events happened, I was in the process of looking into some sort of anger management classes. Instead, I now see a therapist once a week to discuss a number of things. However one topic we touch on frequently is my anger and why I continue to lose my anger. But more importantly, we discuss how to manage my anger when it does come up.
As I have discussed previously, meditation as a part of my daily routine is extremely helpful in this. it allows me to realize when I am getting angry and to calm my mind. Having an outlet for my anger and aggression is helpful too so I try to get to the gym at least 4 times a week. However in the moment of feeling anger, if possible, I try to take a walk and cool down. If I am unable to do that, the best I can offer myself right now is trying to catch myself and breathe before I act.
What are some of your favorite tips for dealing with anger? Please share below some of your favorite relaxation techniques or ways to deal with anger and frustration when it arises.
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