Learning About Myself with 23andMe

Like many people, I have always had an interest in where I came from and what my ancestry was like. Growing up I knew some of the basics, such as that my entire Dad’s side of the family was Jewish and from Eastern Europe and that my Mom’s family was a mix of English and Norwegian. However I also knew that there was quite a bit else that was mixed in. When I got to college, I felt myself pulling away from the religious aspect of my Jewish heritage, and that didn’t leave me much left to identify with. My girlfriend (now wife) is 100% Portuguese, as she is actually a First generation. My best friend is Middle Easter as he was actually born in Iran. Me? I was born in Tucson Arizona, to parents born in the US, who were born to parents born in the US to parents who may or may not have been born here… we simply did not have good records of it.

With such great technology and advancements in DNA research, there are now a lot of great options for learning more about your ancestry and where you come from. So I decided to look into a few options and learn more about myself. I decided on 23andMe as I like the information they were providing and what they were looking to build with their own findings. In hindsight, Ancestry.com DNA may have been a better option as I have heard it is slightly more accurate, and I also have a lot of family that did it, and they will link you together. Either way, I wanted to share my experience with you and the whole process.

When I signed up for 23andMe, it was quite simple. I chose to pay a little extra and get the Health and Ancestry service, to not only know about my ancestors, but to also see if I have any genetic markers for things such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, etc. When my package arrived, the instructions were very simple to follow: essentially you spit in a tube and put it int he mail (that’s in a nutshell, as there are a few other steps). Once that is complete I also set up my online profile which consists of many optional surveys to provide the 23andMe company with information they can use to help enhance their database and provide more accurate findings of yourself. The questions are simple in regards to race and gender, to more interesting questions such as sleep patterns, anxiety and other health related items. Again, this is all used to help build profiles based on DNA submitted in hopes of learning more about what our DNA does and to better identify people through these means.

Once everything is sent in, the process takes about 6-8 weeks before you get your results. Once those results come in, you get an email that links you to all the reports they provide on you. I received my results last week and I could not wait to dive in. The reports were a very cool mixture of ancestry markers, health screenings as well as other markers (many of which I know already and of those, some they got right and some they got wrong). For me, the first thing I looked at was the Health markers. I am a bit of a hypochondriac so I had to make sure right away that I was ok. And thankfully, there was nothing that showed I would be at a higher risk for anything they would test for. After that, I had to dive into my ancestry.

Unsurprisingly, I was shown to be 99.9% European, with less than .1% being a mixture of East Asian and Yakut. of my European Ancestry, I was shown to be 47.3% Ashkenazi Jewish, which makes sense since I know my Jewish family came from Germany, Poland and Austria. The biggest category on my list however was Northwestern European, at 50.5%. This was a mixture of British and Irish (21.6%), Scandinavian (9.5%), French and German (7.7%), Finnish (<0.1%) and what was categorized as ‘Broadly Northwestern European’ (11.6% – which is likely my Norwegian heritage I know of). To me this was all very fascinating and gave me a better sense of belonging! Another cool part of this, is of all other users who use 23andMe, it shows me those who are related to me. Only one name I recognized (1st cousin once removed), but it found 1,233 DNA Relatives. It also was able to determine how many markers I have in common with Neanderthal Ancestry, which was surprisingly higher at 281 markers, which is more than 54% of all 23andMe users, and 1st among relatives I am connected to.

Beyond the Health and the Ancestry, 23andMe also provides a list of other features as well. Features they determine based on the surveys I answered as well as what other people have answered as well. They are not meant to be a diagnosis or even be accurate. But to tell you things that are likely to be true. From this information they did get a few things right: I am likely to not have red hair (I do not), I am likely to be average or below average weight (I am below average), likely to have darker eyes (this one is close, but mine are hazel, so I will confirm this) and likely to have straight hair (mine could not be any straighter).

However, for all the items this predicted accurately, I felt there were far more discrepancies that were not accurate. Again, this is based on people similar to me with my genetic makeup and is not meant to be 100% accurate. But my concern was with just how much they got wrong (makes me think what else is not accurate). According to this report I am unlikely to have dimples (I do), a widows peak (I have that too) and I am likely to have detached earlobes (sorry, wrong again).

Aside from these items, I found it all very interesting. The ancestry part felt very accurate to me, and that was ultimately what I was looking for. I am sure over time some of my other reports may change as more people provide information and the database for 23andMe grows. Until then, I will be satisfied with what I found.

Have any of you ever tried 23andMe, or perhaps another service such as Ancestry.com? I would love to hear about your experience! Please share your experience below or please let me know if you have any questions and I would be happy to share more!

Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Behind Every Man: Finding My Motivation and Drive to Make This Career Change

We have all probably heard the saying before that “Behind every great man, is a great woman.” This saying essentially says that every man is held up by a woman in his life, whether it is his mom, girlfriend or wife. While I do not think it is entirely accurate, in my situation I cannot help but to feel this is correct.

For the last 11+ years, I have been working in Tech/Business. My very first job was an entry level contract position at Google and I have been working my way up the corporate ladder (at various companies) since then. I started at Google right out of college and found it to be very exciting while I was there. However, even during this time, there was a part of me that was not happy. Not satisfied. I found an email I had written to my Dad a month or so after I left Google expressing my unhappiness in the corporate world. At the time I looked into going back to school as well as joining the Fire Academy. However I have outstanding injuries from my career as a collegiate swimmer and figured I would not pass a physical. I also discussed this with my then fiance (now wife) and she was very understanding and at the time encouraged me to do something I enjoyed. I looked into some options at the time, but as I have discussed in other blog posts, I felt stuck. I was engaged to be married to the woman of my dreams and all I wanted in life was to make her happy, support her and give her everything I felt she deserved. At this time, I decided the best option for me was to stick it out in the corporate world, find a job I enjoyed and make my money.

For years I bounced around between jobs, focusing on what parts I enjoyed, and trying to “fix” the areas that made me unhappy, After 11 years of this, I have found that overall, this line of work just isn’t for me. I had to find my passion. This is where the title of this blog post comes in. For me, my motivation and my change came from my wife.

A few years ago, my wife started a side business making hair accessories for kids. it started out slow, but as it grew I could see her excitement with it. Over time we discusses what she wanted out of this and what she wanted to do. At the time, she told me her goal was to build the company up enough that she no longer had to work her day to day job, could potentially get enough people to help run the company, that she could spend more time at home with the kids. As her business grew, I enjoyed very much helping her, build the business and achieve her dreams. I worked harder to find a better job for myself so that I could help support her and to help her quit her day to day and go with this full time. Near the end of 2015, we realized how closer we were. But we also needed more space. My wife’s business was taking up a good portion of our house, and with our growing family we needed more space. I was thinking about leaving my job then to do what I am doing now, but we needed the money to buy a bigger house and to help her expand. Last year we not only were able to buy a new house, but my wife was able to quit her job and do her side business full time! The drive and motivation she has shown over the last few years to get something she wanted, gave me the motivation to escape my unhappiness in the corporate world, and to do what I needed to find that occupational pleasure I was missing (which was ultimately spreading negativity to the rest of my life).

I have discussed this at length with my wife as well, and have her full support in going back to school and that we will be able to make it work. And while there are some other unforeseen circumstances that have come into this, and she has been on the fence for some time whether or not she made the right decision, I feel that had she not made this move, she may have always regretted.  I cannot thank her enough for her support and her leading by example.

Everyone finds motivation in different places in their life. Some have a friend or family member. Others loo up to those trailblazers and leaders of their field of interest. Where do you find your motivation? What is your inspiration. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

The Art of Self-Discipline

As I have now mentioned numerous time (and will likely mention again… that is what I do), I do not enjoy writing. One of those reasons is that I have a hard time of coming up with things to write about. Because of this, I started to keep a task list of different blog titles and what to write about. Today’s blog post, for the last month was actually geared to be written as part of the “Self-Improvement series” articles I have written in the past (and will write about again in the future).

I wanted to write about Self-Discipline, my struggles with this and what I am doing to work on it. However, a couple weeks ago, I was speaking with my therapist about this and she helped me really see this differently. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt that I have struggled with self-discipline (as I am sure many of you have as well). I feel that far too often I start something and never finish. In all honesty, I am surprised I am still writing blog posts!! Far too often I will do things such as starting a new gym routine, or eating healthier or reading more books…. and then after a week, a month or maybe a year, I slip up and find myself back exactly where I started.

Now in reality, this is something I still need to work on, so it does fit in line with my self-improvement process. However, I have come to learn I am not as big a failure at this as I originally thought. As it turns out, this is common. Extremely common. The problem is not that I lack self-discipline. In reality, the fact I am attempting these things shows the drive and determination needed to have self-discipline. My problem is that I am attempting to do something, that I do not generally like, alone. If I was extremely happy and loved what I was doing, the motivation to do this would be easier. I love going to the gym for example, however after a period of time, the routine gets boring and I no longer enjoy it and I find it harder to go. Eating healthy is easy at first because I feel better and see results, however I am such a picky eater I end up craving some sweets, and before I know it, I have consumed 4 Cinnabon’s in 3 days.

In speaking with my therapist, the secret I have discovered to this, is that failure rate when going about these things alone, is much higher than when you do these things with others. I.e. if you are having trouble going to the gym, get a gym partner? Not eating well? Get a friend to eat well with you. Do not enjoy writing or journaling? Come up with a good topic about something you are passionate about and start a blog. A blog that others are reading and keep you accountable for continuing to write. For me, I feel as if I am letting my readers (the handful of you who keep coming back) down.

So the truth is, I do not necessarily lack self-discipline. I lack the support to do a lot of what is needed of me. For years I have been unhappy with my job and my motivation to stay has always been to support my family. But that in itself has caused problems. My wife has always supported me going back to school, but that is now just becoming a reality. And with her support, and the support of the rest of my family, and my drive to help others and be happy, is all the self-discipline I need to better my life.

Do you struggle with Self-Discipline? What are some of your secrets to staying on track? Please share your secrets below, or any other comments you may have!

Please also feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Self Improvement: I Don’t Always Have to Be Right

I have always hated to lose. I have always been super competitive and because of that, I dislike losing. I am sure that comes with the territory, and lets be honest, nobody ENJOYS losing. But because of this, I seem to always take it to another level. I am an extremely argumentative person and have always battled this constant feeling of HAVING to be right. Even when I know I am wrong, I will keep up my argument just to win.

As you can imagine, this type of behavior has caused caused a lot of strain in various relationships, whether with friends, family or my wife. I will often make a mountain of a molehill, simply because I have to have my way or “win” the argument. As an example of how ridiculous I can be, a few years back, my wife and I were listening to a song and as we both sang along, we sang a particular lyric different. I was adamant I was right (even if mine made less sense) and she argued she was right. To end it, she pulled the lyrics up online to prove to me I was wrong. And then, with seeing the correct lyrics in front of me, the only thing I could say was “well these must be wrong too.” How ridiculous is that?! For years after I would still hold this up. And even though we BOTH knew I was wrong and knew it, I was smile and never admit the true lyrics.

It is stuff like this that can make me a difficult person to be around. I can be a contrarian and argumentative over just about anything, only because I want to be heard and I want to be right. I am sure a lot of this is just my competitive nature, but I am sure a lot has to do with my upbringing and how we went about arguing and discussing things.. not to mention when people gloat when they are right, they make you feel like shit for losing, so you just never admit defeat.

This last year, as we were under a great deal of stress (sold our house, moved in with our in-laws, bought a house, moved in and I started a new job), I could sense I was worse than ever before. As discussed in Relinquishing Control, I had to control everything and argue anything that was not going my way. I am sure a lot of my argumentative nature stems from having to have control of situations (or vice versa), but it is truly not a trait that is fun to be around. In December of last year, I started seeing a Therapist, and one of these reasons for that, was this very thing. I had to control situations, I was angry (perhaps a future blog post…), and I had to argue with everyone about everything. Part of this was the stress that was going on, part of it was my relationship, and part of this had to just do with feeling stuck doing work I did not fully enjoy. Regardless, my actions were not fair to those around me.

Identifying that I have this issue has been the biggest hurdle for me, because it wasn’t so much as identifying it, as it was admitting it. Admitting this is a problem feels like a loss to me, and as you now know, I dont like to lose. But its a daily battle. To work on this I am trying a lot of things. I am trying to listen more and understand the issues. I try to listen all the way through before speaking and I ask myself if what I am saying is warranted. I am admitting I am wrong when I can instead of holding it up. Aside from being an ass to be around when I cannot admit wrong doing, I want my children to learn that it is ok to be wrong and that good can come from it. For me, it is a constant struggle to remind myself to breath and not let every little thing bother me, and to not have to be right.

If you struggle with this, please share your thoughts and comments below on what works best for you, I would love to hear from you!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Phil Dunphy is My Hero

If you are not watching ‘Modern Family’ every week, you are missing out on one of televisions greatest treasures. This Emmy award winning show will make you laugh, it will make you cry and… well it probably wont make you cry but it will make you laugh. This comedy follows an extended family as they navigate life in their own way. Phil is married to Claire and together they have 3 children. Claire has a gay brother named Mitch,and him and his partner Cam (who in their own right nearly steal the show from Phil) have an adopted daughter. Mitch and Claire’s Dad, Jay, is married to a young bombshell named Gloria (who had her own kid from a previous marriage. There is always a lot going on in this show, but to me, the greatest part is Phil himself.

Phil is a family man. He is funny, charming and witty (although he rarely succeeds when he tries). He reminds us constantly that he was a cheerleader in college and that he is an expert magician. He loves to bounce on the trampoline, dance and have fun. But most of all, Phil loves his family.

I have had conversations with friends and family on many occasions about how much I love Phil. What is funny is that everyone always says the same thing: I am just like him. Now, knowing better, I know they are making a joke, because Phil is an utter goofball and a nerd. He often finds himself at the butt of people’s jokes and in general is just a silly, fun loving guy. But when people compare me to him, I take it as a compliment.

Phil might be a bit of a doof, and may get picked on from time to time, but he has a heart of gold. Phil loves his wife and kids more than anything, and they come first in his life. Phil not only loves his job, but he loves his life and loves to have fun. All 3 of his kids are very different but he finds ways to bond with each one and to help lead them. Each kid is not punished or celebrated the same as each is unique, and he treats them as such. Phil doesn’t particularly care what others think, aside from his Father-in-law, who he is constantly trying to impress, so that he feels good enough to be the husband, to his father-in-laws little girl (I know the feeling). And at that, for being such a nerdy guy, Phil landed a smokin hot, down to Earth wife, who not only puts up with him, but cherishes him and truly loves him too. Who wouldn’t want that.

Over time, television has brought us many great TV Moms and Dads. Those we love, those we hate, and those that much us smile and laugh. To me, Phil is the penultimate father figure. Phil Dunphy is my hero 🙂 !!

Please feel free to share who your favorite TV Mom or Dad is or who you see a little of yourself in.

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.Not a go

Why Am I Doing This – Part 2

For just about a month now, I have been chronicling my journey as I start making changes in my life, and ultimately start my career over. As I stated here, I am hoping to inspire those along the way who are also dealing with similar issues who might find help with this. But at the same time, I still find myself questions exactly why I am doing this.

I question this for a few reasons. For starters, I do not generally enjoy writing. I actually feel it is somewhat of a chore. That is also probably why I am not very good at it. Sure some of the info I am sharing may be helpful, but my style, my thought process: its all wrong. I am sure my grammar is not exactly correct either. But, lets be honest, does that matter? I am not planning to win a Pulitzer or any other award for this. I am just trying to share some of my thoughts on my journey to bettering myself and hopefully others as well.

Aside from not being that good at writing, I feel this is more or less reading like a journal. I guess you can say another reason I am doing this, is that it is for me. My thoughts are so jumbled these days that this is an outlet for me to write and get some of those feelings out. As you read these post you may notice the topics from post to post jump around and seem as if there is no rhyme or reason for them. And the truth is, that is because they are. As it stands right now, I am writing from the heart almost every time I write: what is top of mind and where my head is at. And since I dislike writing, it makes sense that I am not going to to write out an outline, or re-write anything. What you see is what you get I guess.

And just like that, another blog post that likely doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But this is me. This is my journey

Feel free to share some of your writing tips and your process below.

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.Not a good writer

Self Improvement: Relinquishing Control

My journey to starting my new career is a fairly new ambition of mine (although I have been thinking about it since the day I left my first job. However for the last couple years, I have tried doing things to better myself as a person, often time I fall flat. Whether it be going to the gym more, eating right, working on my temper or something else: I am able to make it work for a short period before I fall back to my old ways. In the last year, it has dawned on me that I have been going about it all wrong. I focus on the wrong things to change and how I go about it.

Last year in the process of selling our house, living with my in-laws, buying a new house, starting a new job, and.. a few other things, I realized how difficult I can be to be around sometimes. Sure part of this was unhappiness, that likely stems from my career choices. But I also fall victim to different characteristics of mine that get the better of me and make me a pain in the ass. My plan here, along my journey to a new career, is to also document some of the self improvement tasks I am working on. Characteristics that can make me difficult to be around, or make me a worse person, and how I am working to better myself (and ultimately those around me). This blog is about my journey to starting a new career and inspiring others along the way. My journey involves much more than just the career choice, but life choices as well, as everything is related and builds off each other. So with that, today’s topic is: I am a control freak

Now, I shouldn’t really say I am a control freak, as I can be fairly laid back and easy going. But I do like things done a certain way. And I can be very defensive and manipulative when it comes to things I want done a certain way. There is something about knowing what is going on and having a sense of control to a situation. In reality, I tend to get more controlling over things I am passionate about: my kids, my marriage, my friends, my house, etc.

Being in control, and wanting to be in control and not generally a bad thing, I would usually not list that as a characteristic that could make me hard to get along with. However, I tend to take it too far. If things are not done my way, I get extremely argumentative (that is a topic for another day) and defensive and tend to not back down. I become irrational and do not listen to what others have to say. Hell, even after I know I am wrong I will stick to my guns (stubborn.. yet another topic perhaps), I will argue and argue till I get my way, that way I can stay in control of the situation. Sometimes, it is not very obvious. I tend to manipulate people (or try) to do things I want. For instance, if my wife happens to leave dishes in the sink and I have been putting mine away, I may passive aggressively say something like “WE need to be better about putting our dishes away.” I Obviously mean ‘YOU’ as I have been putting mine away (and this is probably a bad analogy, as I am more likely to not put my dishes away… shhhhh…). Sure sometimes, I do mean ‘WE,” but often times, I mean ‘YOU,’ and lets be honest, that is not fair, regardless of who I am dealing with.

So the real question is, how do I work on this? I am still a work in progress, but here are some of the things I am doing to better myself and Relinquish Control:

  1. Discuss the issues as they come up with my therapist
  2. Take a deep breath and try to understand where others are coming from
  3. Ask myself why do I feel the need to be in control here
  4. Let others lead. I am not always right (I am hardly right)
  5. Exercise. Exercising allows me to release any pent up aggression
  6. Practice letting others win. As I don’t always have to be right, perhaps let someone else “win” even when I know I am right (its good practice
  7. Last, and probably most important: Listen. Listen to what others are saying and doing. Everything else listed above can come after I listen, and understand

Perhaps not everything listed here is truly about relinquishing control. Perhaps a lot of my other issues I need to work on are highlighted more-so here than intended. But the main point here is, is that I am a work in progress. I have identified areas of my life that need to be improved, for not only myself but those around me. This is one big journey to a better me.

Do you also have issues with control and having to own the situation? Share some of your experiences and how you practice relinquishing control, below.

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Anxiety, Daily Life Stress and Moving Forward

About 12 years ago, was finishing up my summer school courses that were needed to graduate. During my finals week, I started at working at one of the best companies in the world. I had gone from a High School and College athlete, to a full time student and restaurant worker, to being a full time employee at a major company. I was scared, I was excited, I was happy and I was sad. Every emotion you could have I felt as I had no idea what to expect of the rest of my life.

For a year prior to this, I had started planning how I was going to propose to my girlfriend who I had been with for 4.5 years at this point. We started dating in High School and even did our first year of college as a long distance relationship. I was madly in love with this woman, and at the time, it was the only thing stable in my life I could count on, and I was about to kick it into gear by proposing to her.

I had planned to propose to her in December when we would be on vacation together. I had the ring and her Dad’s approval. I also now had a safe/secure job in the business world: I had everything I had ever “wanted,” right? It was at this time, I started to get sick. My stomach was always upset, my palms always seemed sweaty. I had these panic attacks and could not breath, I did not know what was going on with me. It was not until speaking with my doctor that I determined what was wrong: I was suffering from anxiety. I could write an entire blog post on Anxiety and what it is, but that has been done by countless others (feel free to contact me, and I will be happy to discuss if you like). It was at this time I went on Zoloft and from there planned to learn how to control my anxiety.

I stayed on Zoloft for a couple years but ultimately went off as I learned to cope and deal with the anxiety (not to mention my life was in a fairly good routine, so it was much easier to manage. That is until this last December when some other life changes happened (this is a future blog topic, but not one I am ready to discuss).

Over the last 12 years I have dealt with daily stressors of my job and my life. I have had marital spats, kids, job changes and even moved. I have been sick, and had some medical issues (one of which was an appendectomy) Last year we sold out house, moved in with my in-laws for a few months while searching for a house and then purchased a new house. Handling my stress was difficult. That was until December when things made another big change and created my journey back to Zoloft. Along with Zoloft, I have done many things to really keep my stress under control:

  1. Meditate (I use the Headspace app and it is amazing!)
  2. Yoga
  3. Going to the gym
  4. Going on  a walk
  5. Going on a bike ride
  6. Play with my kids
  7. Spending time with friends/family
  8. Therapy

I would normally add sex to this list as that has always been my best stress release, but right now (see some of the issues listed above including medical). But there is a reason I share all of this:

My journey to changing my career has been a very long one. As I have mentioned in my previous posts, I have gone done my current career path for a reason, but its time to change. Anxiety has been difficult but I am learning to deal with it better. Daily life stresses around my job, family and life are tough, but I am dealing with those too. If you want something, you have to go and get it. And right now, I want to make my life better for myself and those around me. I want to be happy and satisfied. Anxiety will always be there in one way or another, but I cannot hide from it, I have to push forward.

Leave a comment below if you have experienced Anxiety or what your favorite way to deal with stress is.

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Why Am I Doing This?

I am a fairly private person. I hate writing. I am extremely busy. I have a lot of things to worry about and work on in my life. So, why am I doing this?

If you read my first blog post the other day, you learned a little more about me and why I am looking to make some changes in my life. Why I am going back to school and staring down the barrel of a new career, when I have so much going on in my own life. And while I was hopefully able to give some insight to that, the next question becomes, why am I blogging about it and sharing it on Instagram?

There are actually 2 reasons for my madness: to inspire myself and to inspire others. For myself, I have the type of personality that gets really into something and then once I miss a day or two of it, it falls at the wayside and I forget about it. Through all my trials and tribulations I have been going through I have tried a lot of things: journaling, talking to people, meditating, working out, etc. And while I have still done well with some of it, the journaling has nearly come to a halt, and I have not been as consistent with my meditating (even though I really enjoy it). But with this, my hope is that by sharing my thoughts and feelings, as well as discussing my journey as I trek through it, I will inspire myself to keep going, while also keeping myself accountable. I may not stay consistent and could go a few weeks between posts (especially as I find something worthy to discuss), but my hope is that I can do it to keep myself focused. School starts up in August, so I want to make sure I am ready to go and ready to take on the challenge of balancing work, school and my family.

Aside from keeping myself honest and motivated, I am also hoping to inspire others along the way. Again, as I had mentioned in my first blog post the other day, one of the issue I have and why i dislike the business world (at least the sector of it that I am in), is that I am not doing anything in my day-to-day, that is helping or benefiting anyone else in an overall positive light. Sure I am helping other companies streamline their systems or helping our company as well, but to me that is not as fulfilling as doing ro saying something that can truly inspire others. So while I am hoping to transition myself into a career that directly helps or benefits others, I am hoping this blog can help people along the way. Whether its an inspirational story I share, or a hard/frustrating time I am fighting through: my hope is that it helps someone else with a similar problem. Whether its about their work, marriage, parenting, or perhaps like me, they are working a job they are unhappy with and feel stuck. Hopefully they too can realize they are not stuck and can find their way out. Find their passion or their drive and work towards that.

Have a great day!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Welcome

Hello, and welcome to my blog!

As I am sure you have learned from reading my About Me page, I am capturing my journey as I explore going back to school and completely changing my career. At the time I am writing this, my About Me page is very short and to the point, and perhaps in time I will update it. However as it stands currently, my bio is fairly short and I do not go into much detail… so I guess I owe you an explanation.

I am 33 years old and I am a married father of 2. I graduated from a top 10 university in 2006 and have been working in the tech/business world ever since. My first job was with one of the tech/Search giants and the job sort of fell right into my lap. At the time, all I thought I wanted to do was go into business. My Dad worked in business, and I knew it was a safe route, and one I could make money. I have this romanticized idea of working for a start-up and making good money and just enjoying creating and making great things. The only problem with all of it is, in reality, I hate it. Well, hate is a strong word… but I dislike this [business] world.

Since I started in business, there were always part of me that enjoyed what I was doing and parts of me that despised what I was doing. Learning, creating, and working with analytical minded people, much like myself, has always been enjoyable. And these tech/business jobs always provide safety and security that allow you a lot of freedoms  to build a life. The downside to these jobs, is often times you cannot “get behind” the work you are doing. Sure a lot of this is cutting edge technology, but I look around at my day-to-day and I do not feel I am making an impact on anyone else.

After I left my initial job (I was on a 1 year contract), I work as a contractor for awhile before filing for unemployment in 2008 during our recession (just after I got married). From there, over the span of 5 years, I worked for a couple different start-ups before landing my current job (another large company, doing great things in their industry). Every time I started a new job I would be excited and have a lot of energy and think “this is it. The job that will make me happy, and the job that I can make my money with.” The problem was, after a couple years, I would get burnt out and find the job boring and tedious. I would then go in search of a new job, one that had everything from the previous job I liked, but fixed one of the “issues” I had with working there. Even at my current company, I changed roles after 2.5 years as the current role was wearing on me.

Within the last year, I have also been fighting some personal battles as well, one of which being that I felt a lot of my unhappiness was affecting those around me: my wife, kids, parents, in-laws, friends, etc. I was stressed and I was not happy and I was taking it out on everyone else. Coupled with some other personal stuff, I set-out to talk to a therapist. Seeing this therapist turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. She has helped me see through so much of the fog in my life, and to better understand not only myself, but how others see the world. I have worked on and changed so much about me for the better, including my outlook. I have a long way to go, but one of the big things we discussed, was that I am not “stuck.”

For so long I have considered leaving the business world and doing something else. After my first year, I almost left to be a firefighter, but didn’t because I knew I wouldn’t pass a physical (bad joints) and I wanted to be able to provide and figured I would find happiness. The other things I had considered were teaching and being a therapist (Family, occupational, Sports… any of those would do!), but I felt it was too late as I needed to support my family. What I didn’t think about was that I never had those strong feelings for this job in the first place. I never truly wanted this job, I was made to believe I did in my upbringing. Instead I wanted to help people. I wanted to do something to help those around me achieve. So with that, we decided that maybe I should go back to school.

Starting this fall, I will be taking a couple classes at a local Community College as I complete all the prerequisites to apply for a Masters in Psychology program.  Even if I decide not to go this route, its nice to know there are options. .

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.