Book Review: The Mask of Masculinity

A couple years ago, I started listening to a Podcast titled “The School of Greatness.” I discussed this podcast in one of my previous Book Review posts, as the talent behind that podcast, also wrote a book of the same name. The podcast itself was fantastic as it provided motivation to myself to better myself and find my best me. As I struggled on my journey to find happiness, the podcast and book itself helped guide me and for that, I feel I will always be grateful to Lewis Howes.

Through listening to his podcasts and following his stories on Instagram, I learned a lot about a new book he was working on, that explored men and their problems with masculinity. To be honest, at first I wrote it off. I was picked on a lot as a child and a teen, but felt I ultimately got  over most of it. However, with everything I have been dealing with in the past year, a lot of the problems resurfaced, and through therapy, it was determined that a lot of this landed in the realm of masculinity.

It got to a point I was asking my wife to give me compliments because I felt so low. I am a male, battling body dysmorphia and feeling very un-masculine and I am struggling with it. So with these issues coming to the surface, I decided to read the book. Having now finished the book, I could not be any happier with my decision to do so. The book explores the different types of “masks” we wear as men, by relying on humor, or stoicism. The mask we wears as athletes, husbands, fathers and sons. Each chapter I felt myself finding little things about myself I never realized was an issue. From what you think of when someone asks you to describe a “man,” to how you perceive yourself.

When I was in High School and college I was a competitive swimmer and spent a majority of my time working out and from that was always in shape and had unrealistic ideals of what I should look like. Being around certain people and wanting to be around them has given me the wrong idea of what a “man” is and how those though processes are damaging to not only myself, but my children as well.

As the father of both a son and daughter, I feel it is my duty to better myself to teach them both what a real man is. A real man is not a body builder or a bearded grizzly man that can fix anything that breaks. Not every man can fix a car, or every plumbing issues. Not every man an bench press more than their weight or sleep with every woman he meets. Men come in all shapes and sizes and what is most important is that a real man is a father to his children and a husband to his wife (or husband). A real man treats other people with respect and leads by example. I want my kids to know how a man should act. If my children end up with a man as adults, then I hope that man treats them right, the way I show them by treating my wife. If they have kids, I hope they know how a man should treat his children.

Now a lot of this sounds obvious, but I would not be surprised at how many men know this but still struggle with the various masks that “masculinity” makes us wear. Every man is battling something to overcome. For me, this book was a beacon that helped show me the way to practice what I believed and to be a real “man.”

If anyone is interested in reading this book, I would strongly recommend checking it out on Amazon, or in your nearest book store. This book is also NOT just for men, as women can benefit fromt his as well, especially those that support or want to support their man and help him through all of this as well. Lewis does a great job at the end of every chapter highlighting ways to overcome the various masks and how the women in our lives can assist us as well.

Have you read this book or perhaps “School of Greatness?” If so, please share your thoughts in the comments section below. Or perhaps there is another book similar to this you recommend? I would love to hear about it! Also, please be sure to check out Lewis on Social Media (he is very active on Instagram.)

Please subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

New Year, New Me and New Goals

Here we are on January 19th, and I am just getting around to my first post of the year. I am sure by now all the real bloggers have shared their New Year posts, listing out all of their goals and resolutions for the year. And just as I predicted in one of my very first blog posts, I have already fallen off the wagon a bit and have been slow to post. The truth is, things are going much better in my life and I have not felt the need to “release” as much. I have noticed that the happier I am, the less time I spend on my computer or phone, the less time I spend on Social Media and in turn, the less time I seem to have to write here. Not that unhappiness causes me to do any of those things, I just seem to… seem to… I dunno, just seem to be more content in the moment.

However, just because things are going well in my life, doesn’t mean I can just sit back and relax and let it ride. No, I still have SO MUCH WORK to do (on myself). And I am not one that likes to set New Years Resolutions, so I do not. What I DO like to do is examine my life and take a look at what has been working for me and what is not and then focus on improving myself in those areas.

I know that at the beginning of 2017, my marriage was on the rocks and by the end of the year things were going really well. I want to continue working with my fe to improve our communication and our relationship.

I do enjoy writing these blog posts sometimes, so I hope to write more. I am not going to set a limit of “X posts” per week, but instead hope to share my life and journey with you. I am reading a new book now I will share with you shortly, as well as another “letter to myself.” I hope to also provide updates of what I am learning in therapy and how my therapist is helping me be a better person.

With that, I plan to continue going to therapy and learning more about myself and doing what I can to improve myself as a person, a husband and a father.

Lastly, I want to continue my journey to a new career. I took a few prerequisite classes this last year to prepare for school, but I have decided to push starting school back one more year. I am not afraid and it is not that I am uncertain. On the contrary, as every day goes by I want that career more and more (I am leaning heavily towards a Sports Psychologist or Family Therapist), but timing is a fickle bitch. Over the holidays and this last week we discovered mold in our house (that our insurance will not cover) and I got into a car accident (I am fine) which will raise my insurance premiums. My wife and I are planning a trip to Costa Rica (our 10 year anniversary is this year and after our last year, we simply deserve it) and there is a lot of stuff we want/need to do to our house. SO by putting school off, we can make sure that not only are we more in a financially stable place, but it gives us a bit more time to work on our marriage and really strengthen it to where it belongs.

I am looking forward to 2018 and sharing my journey and hopefully inspiring you along the way. Please share some of your goals for 2018 and life moving forward, as I would love to hear them!

Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Book Review: Bigger, Leaner, Stronger

To continue my summer of self improvement, I was able to read another book this summer, just before my vacation. The second book I read (after the School of Greatness) was titled ‘Bigger, Leaner, Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Male Body’ by Michael Matthews. I actually had a few reasons for reading so much this summer. The first reasons was there was not a whole lot on tv. Second, I wanted to start getting my mind ready for school. Third, I truly want to start improving my life as much as I can in different areas. And finally, I had a Google coupon for some cheaper books, and figured I would pick a few that stood out to me (one of which is the book I am reviewing now).

Growing up , I was always very active, playing with friends, running in the street, or playing sports. As I got into High School I focused on swimming as my only sport and did everything I could to better myself. That sort of mentality has always stuck with me, especially when it comes to being in shape and taking care of myself. Overall I am in fairly good shape, with the exception of being more on the thinner side. I have always been slim… almost as if it was a curse. For the life of me, I have always had a problem gaining weight (I know some of you wish you had this problem, but for me, it is frustrating, as just like overweight people, I have body issues as well). I eat and eat and work out and never seem to be able to change my look, and that is where this book comes in,

I had recently heard about this book as it helps to debunk a lot of myths we believe about weightlifting, and it helps to focus in on what you are trying to do, and without wasting time. I have tried different workout routines, followed advice from trainer and professionals alike, and never am able to stick to a routine that has shown me results. But for some reason, I feel this time will be different. I have recently started working out following this routine and have already felt a difference in my strength. The best part about this book too is he not only tells you the science behind everything, but explains why certain things will work and others do not. From there he actually provides you not only a workout plan that fits your schedule, but he also provides you a nutritional spreadsheet too to help you maximize your gains.

At the end of the day, for me it gives me a new reason to be excited about going to the gym as well as a way to focus on my lifting and eating habits, and hope to start feeling better about myself here soon.

If you are interested in reading this book, you can check it out here.

If you want to follow Michael Matthews, you can find his Instagram here (his other social media links are on his website), and his website here.

Have you check out this book before, or have another workout read that is worth exploring? Please share your findings and results below!

Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Book Review: The School of Greatness

If you have been following along on my other posts, you know by now that I am not a big fan of writing. I do it because it is actually a bit of a stress release and a way to share my story. Along with writing, there are a lot of other things I am not a fan of, but tend to do them anyway. One of which is reading. Although I say this, I actually do enjoy reading once I start, but my mind almost feels as if it is a chore. I on average read a book every 1-3 months. Not that it takes me that long but because I am exhausted by the time I am done. Although lately, as I am on this path towards resurrecting myself, I have taken the time to read a handful of books, and I hope to share some reviews of each of them as well.

The first book I want to share with you was written by a man that honestly opened my eyes and has helped me restart my path in life. The book is titled ‘The School of Greatness” and it was written by a self-made man, an inspirational author, speaker and podcaster: Lewis Howes. I first came across Lewis when listening to his podcast. Every week he is interviewing special people who do extraordinary things. Whether they are authors, speakers, entrepreneurs, dancers, they all have something in common: they had a passion or a drive to follow their dreams and do what they love. Lewis has somewhat of the same story as he was a professional football player in the Arena Football League until he broke his arm. He was living on his sisters couch and decided he needed to do something. He followed his passions and worked hard and has made millions in the process.

When I found out that “The School of Greatness” was not just a podcast, but also a book, I wasted no time in buying it. This book outlines passions and drive and identifying those within yourself and driving towards them. As I have mentioned about me is that I had lost that somewhere along the way, became complacent and went the safe route. I constantly felt stuck and dreaded having to look forward to this life as I moved on. Listening to Lewis and reading his book has been an instrumental part of my journey. For anyone who is searching for their drive in life, business or relationship, I highly recommend this book (and his podcast). Lewis is also extremely active on Social Media, so I suggest you check out his Instagram as well (or really any of his social media outlets as listed at the bottom of this page).

Have you read this book? if so, please share your thoughts in the comments section below. Or perhaps there is another book similar to this you recommend? I would love to hear about it!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.