Is 10 Year Old You Happy?

At some point in our lives, we have likely had this question asked of us, or had this conversation with someone. And I was recently reminded of this while watching TV, and Indeed.com had a commercial asking us this very question: Would your 10 year old self, be happy with what you have become today?

In a sense, this is sort of where I have been going with my current life choices and decisions: I am unhappy with what I am doing so I am setting out to explore and do something that brings me joy.  In all fairness, when I was 10 years old I had aspirations of being a pro baseball or basketball player, and not a firefighter, or a teacher or even a therapist. But the point of it, was I wanted to do something that made me happy (and also make me famous and have a lot of money).  And perhaps that is a topic for another time, in that I was so focused on that, and my views changed to just be the money or the fame, that I followed whatever path i thought would make me money and money would make me happy.

In a sense, my 10 year old self would be happy with where I am: Nice house, beautiful wife, 2 kids, 2 cars, a steady job, food on the table and money to travel and enjoy life with. What 10 year old me may not understand, is that while have all of those things in nice, its not everything. I mean do not get me wrong, my wife and kids are everything to me, and if I did not have their support I wouldn’t think of leaving my job. I would do anything for their happiness, and that has always been my #1 priority.

I can probably safely say that 10 year old me is indifferent. He is happy that I have found a great family and own a nice home. He may be mad I wasn’t able to pitch a World Series no-hitter or take a pass from Steph Curry to drain the game winning 3 over LeBron James, But I think he would understand. I think he may be confused as to why I would be going back to school to follow a passion like that, because 10 year old me loved money. But my hope is 10 year old me would understand, and ultimately be happy, because 33 (almost 34) year old me was going to be happy.

What about you? Is your 10 year old self happy? Share your thoughts below and let me know if you are happy!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

 

Why Am I Doing This?

I am a fairly private person. I hate writing. I am extremely busy. I have a lot of things to worry about and work on in my life. So, why am I doing this?

If you read my first blog post the other day, you learned a little more about me and why I am looking to make some changes in my life. Why I am going back to school and staring down the barrel of a new career, when I have so much going on in my own life. And while I was hopefully able to give some insight to that, the next question becomes, why am I blogging about it and sharing it on Instagram?

There are actually 2 reasons for my madness: to inspire myself and to inspire others. For myself, I have the type of personality that gets really into something and then once I miss a day or two of it, it falls at the wayside and I forget about it. Through all my trials and tribulations I have been going through I have tried a lot of things: journaling, talking to people, meditating, working out, etc. And while I have still done well with some of it, the journaling has nearly come to a halt, and I have not been as consistent with my meditating (even though I really enjoy it). But with this, my hope is that by sharing my thoughts and feelings, as well as discussing my journey as I trek through it, I will inspire myself to keep going, while also keeping myself accountable. I may not stay consistent and could go a few weeks between posts (especially as I find something worthy to discuss), but my hope is that I can do it to keep myself focused. School starts up in August, so I want to make sure I am ready to go and ready to take on the challenge of balancing work, school and my family.

Aside from keeping myself honest and motivated, I am also hoping to inspire others along the way. Again, as I had mentioned in my first blog post the other day, one of the issue I have and why i dislike the business world (at least the sector of it that I am in), is that I am not doing anything in my day-to-day, that is helping or benefiting anyone else in an overall positive light. Sure I am helping other companies streamline their systems or helping our company as well, but to me that is not as fulfilling as doing ro saying something that can truly inspire others. So while I am hoping to transition myself into a career that directly helps or benefits others, I am hoping this blog can help people along the way. Whether its an inspirational story I share, or a hard/frustrating time I am fighting through: my hope is that it helps someone else with a similar problem. Whether its about their work, marriage, parenting, or perhaps like me, they are working a job they are unhappy with and feel stuck. Hopefully they too can realize they are not stuck and can find their way out. Find their passion or their drive and work towards that.

Have a great day!

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.

Welcome

Hello, and welcome to my blog!

As I am sure you have learned from reading my About Me page, I am capturing my journey as I explore going back to school and completely changing my career. At the time I am writing this, my About Me page is very short and to the point, and perhaps in time I will update it. However as it stands currently, my bio is fairly short and I do not go into much detail… so I guess I owe you an explanation.

I am 33 years old and I am a married father of 2. I graduated from a top 10 university in 2006 and have been working in the tech/business world ever since. My first job was with one of the tech/Search giants and the job sort of fell right into my lap. At the time, all I thought I wanted to do was go into business. My Dad worked in business, and I knew it was a safe route, and one I could make money. I have this romanticized idea of working for a start-up and making good money and just enjoying creating and making great things. The only problem with all of it is, in reality, I hate it. Well, hate is a strong word… but I dislike this [business] world.

Since I started in business, there were always part of me that enjoyed what I was doing and parts of me that despised what I was doing. Learning, creating, and working with analytical minded people, much like myself, has always been enjoyable. And these tech/business jobs always provide safety and security that allow you a lot of freedoms  to build a life. The downside to these jobs, is often times you cannot “get behind” the work you are doing. Sure a lot of this is cutting edge technology, but I look around at my day-to-day and I do not feel I am making an impact on anyone else.

After I left my initial job (I was on a 1 year contract), I work as a contractor for awhile before filing for unemployment in 2008 during our recession (just after I got married). From there, over the span of 5 years, I worked for a couple different start-ups before landing my current job (another large company, doing great things in their industry). Every time I started a new job I would be excited and have a lot of energy and think “this is it. The job that will make me happy, and the job that I can make my money with.” The problem was, after a couple years, I would get burnt out and find the job boring and tedious. I would then go in search of a new job, one that had everything from the previous job I liked, but fixed one of the “issues” I had with working there. Even at my current company, I changed roles after 2.5 years as the current role was wearing on me.

Within the last year, I have also been fighting some personal battles as well, one of which being that I felt a lot of my unhappiness was affecting those around me: my wife, kids, parents, in-laws, friends, etc. I was stressed and I was not happy and I was taking it out on everyone else. Coupled with some other personal stuff, I set-out to talk to a therapist. Seeing this therapist turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. She has helped me see through so much of the fog in my life, and to better understand not only myself, but how others see the world. I have worked on and changed so much about me for the better, including my outlook. I have a long way to go, but one of the big things we discussed, was that I am not “stuck.”

For so long I have considered leaving the business world and doing something else. After my first year, I almost left to be a firefighter, but didn’t because I knew I wouldn’t pass a physical (bad joints) and I wanted to be able to provide and figured I would find happiness. The other things I had considered were teaching and being a therapist (Family, occupational, Sports… any of those would do!), but I felt it was too late as I needed to support my family. What I didn’t think about was that I never had those strong feelings for this job in the first place. I never truly wanted this job, I was made to believe I did in my upbringing. Instead I wanted to help people. I wanted to do something to help those around me achieve. So with that, we decided that maybe I should go back to school.

Starting this fall, I will be taking a couple classes at a local Community College as I complete all the prerequisites to apply for a Masters in Psychology program.  Even if I decide not to go this route, its nice to know there are options. .

Please feel free to subscribe to my blog or follow me on Instagram. I hope to chronicle my journey in school and connect with like minded people. People who want to learn and grow and help others along the way.